White Horse Blues

Our Heavenly Father is like no other father we can imagine. His consistency, attentiveness and unconditional love for us is unparalleled. And one amazing aspect of this Lover-of-Our-Souls is that rather than judging (which we get plenty of in this world), He thoughtfully nurtures us to bring out the best in us. In contrast to the condemnation and discouragement we get from those around us or from within, He knows how to encourage and motivate us.

Father-and-son.-001-150x150This One-of-a-Kind Father yearns to remove the things in our lives which stand in our way. He holds little interest in our comfort, but is passionate about our development in areas such as faith, integrity, and maturity. Though God is always available to forgive without exception, He prefers that we triumph over the temptations that haunt us.

If you haven’t read the last post, know that this is PART 2 of my story and may make more sense after reading “DIAMONDS OVER GRAY VELVET”.

For those of you who recall the details of the last post, you’ll remember that I was thrilled to finally be wearing a wedding ring again, especially the heirloom which had been prophesied in my open vision of a diamond ring floating upward to me right through a gray velvet fabric.

700_stream 2Life was good and six months passed before the next diamond dream. Vivid, brilliant, colorful, and impressive, the disturbing dream was simply a scene of a white horse galloping across the stream I was standing in. The magnificent creature knocked the diamonds right off my ring into the moving clear waters, never to be found.

As I noted in “DIAMONDS OVER GRAY VELVET”, I awoke startled. I had no idea what this meant, but it remained with me, disquieting my spirit as it flashed back through my mind from time to time. What do horses in dreams mean? Why was I standing in a stream? And what did my diamonds symbolize?

What followed that spring demonstrates the length to which our Heavenly Father will go in order to prepare us for the good things he has planned for us. Yes, I can tell you from experience that Abba will lovingly and in grace set up profoundly elaborate plans to mold us into the children He desires us to be. Count on Him to be relentlessly at work on us.

extra cash okWithin a few weeks of the White Horse dream, a call came from a talent agency where a family member worked. By then it was February and we were struggling along financially, living from commission to commission. So the possibility of earning some unexpected cash as a hand model was appealing.

I emailed in a photo of my hands as quickly as possible, and was elated the next day to have been chosen among several entries. Images of my hands would be on the shelves of the grocery stores across the world! And a cool thousand dollars to boot!

Little did I know that receiving the job was a setup from Abba. He knows me better than I know myself, and He can outwit me any day of the week… for my own good, of course.

my hand modeling 2During the day-long photo session, I managed to come across like a professional. Then a couple of weeks later, another company needed my hands. With a second job under my belt, I was officially a hand-model!

Surely there were more gigs to come. It seemed like a sweet gift from God, and by coincidence, my mother had been told her hands should be used to model. Perhaps this was a generational fulfillment somehow.

As summer approached, I noticed my paleness and began utilizing the nearby tanning salon. “I’ll have to remove my rings”, I reasoned one day as I packed my bag, “What if the photographers don’t want me to wear them? I’d have a tan line showing.”

Here’s the part it took me years to open up and tell. In fact, if you should decide to stop reading right now, my feelings wouldn’t be hurt.

Feelings Not Hurt 2

After a couple of trips to the salon, I tried one of those upright tanning booths. They are powerful, so 4 minutes was plenty. I stripped appropriately, left on some skimpy undergarments, slipped on the goggles, hit the start button, and dashed in.

After a minute or so, I realized I still had my new wedding ring set on.

upright tanning booth 1“Oh, well.” I figured, “I’ll stash it and retrieve it after.” Sound familiar? As it turns out, panties don’t make a good pocket.

Within several minutes, I was redressed and on my way home; then a trip to the restroom and back to my home office. Wait a minute… where’s grandma’s ring?

Greatly distressed, I hastily retraced all my steps, just as I had done in the kitchen years earlier. It wasn’t anywhere in the salon, on the sidewalk, in the parking lot, in my car, in my clothes, in my bathroom. Had it gone down the toilet? What would I say to my parents? How utterly stupid!!!

My record on diamond rings was now zero for two! And this ring was just as treasured as the first. And to add to that, my parents had given it to me, and I couldn’t let them down. I had left no stone unturned; I was devastated.

riverboat 2Teary-eyed and feeling like I’d just been punched in the stomach, I eventually flipped on the office TV as a distraction. To my amazement the channel it was tuned to was a true story about a man who had lost a precious ring which was recovered in the hull of a river boat decades after its loss‒ and through clues within the ring‒ found its way back to its owner.

Was this prophetic? Was God trying to tell me something? Surely my ring would return to me… after all, before I had even known of it, it was prophesied in a vision to be coming to me!

Mom & DadIn time, I came to understand that what was going on was bigger than my idiocy, that the horse in my dream must have knocked the diamond ring off my finger for a reason.

Horses in dreams symbolize power, and a white horse in the context of this dream symbolizes pure and positive power. So this white horse told me that God ordained the diamond ring to be lost. The incident was providential, and I was in the Spirit (stream) when I stashed the ring and forget to retrieve it before it slipped from me.

But how could God do this to me? And why? And most importantly, how would I tell my parents that I’d lost the precious wedding set by leaving it in my panties? It was all I could talk or think about for months, because it would soon be time for my parents next annual visit.

Those answers and more, next time.


October 31, 2015

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